A Holiday Message from Mike: Why I’m Not an Atheist

I read a fantastic blog by comedic genius Ricky Gervais about why he is an Atheist (I suggest you read it too to make your own conclusions).  I say fantastic not because I agree with his conclusions, for I am not an Atheist, but because I understand where he is coming from.  Not only can I entirely appreciate why he is an atheist, but I think he raises an important question that any Christian should not be afraid of, but embrace:  Why do you believe in God?

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Grow in Grace / Go and do likewise

"Grace is opposed to earning, not effort.". Dallas Willard

This quote is one of Dallas' favorite quotes. I have been slowly digesting it for a few weeks now and trying to internalize it and reconcile it with another concept that was ingrained in me many years ago: we are saved by faith alone through the grace of Jesus- we are not saved by works.

When I was younger, I was led by pop, modern Christianity to believe that the only point of grace is to forgive us of our sins when we ask for it. Taken in combination with my misunderstanding that "faith" was a matter of believing certain ideas to be true (ie. the "right" things about God, Jesus, and a myriad of sociopolitical issues) and my belief that I needed to try really hard not to sin (lest I ask forgiveness for the same thing too often and cheapen grace) resulted in a personal theology of "sin management" [citation needed :-] and what Willard calls "consumerist Christianity without discipleship."

I went to church to participate in worship, but also to get more head knowledge and clarify the head knowledge I had to make sure I had the right answers (this was before I was introduced to the idea of a healthy respect for the mysteries of God). I tried really hard not to sin (not in an attempt to earn grace, but so I wouldn't "cheapen it"). And eventually, when I was a senior in high school, I hit a wall. I realized that while I wasn't doing anything really bad, neither was I doing anything really good. This bothered me and I felt like it was a deficit in my life. But I also had the ingrained idea that we don't do good works in an effort to earn salvation (most Protestants I knew avoided good works as a general rule, just to be on the safe side). I felt like that young rich man who said to Jesus: look, I keep the commandments, I am a good boy...what now?

Jesus' answer: sell all your stuff, give the money to the poor and follow me (discipleship)! Ok, nice in theory. But how do I follow Jesus at the turn of the twenty first century? My church wasn't giving me too many specifics: believe, read the bible, pray, witness, ask forgiveness (but don't cheapen grace!), repeat. Since Jesus is not physically standing before me, how can I follow him? If I try to do the stuff he did, barring the stuff I cannot do (miracles and such), and the stuff I was already trying (scripture, prayer and witnessing) it seems like there were a lot of good works involved (helping those less fortunate, feeding the poor, etc) and a lot of talking back to hipocritical and out-of-touch religious authorities (scribes, Pharisees, etc). This seemed in direct conflict with the dual concepts I had been taught since a youngster: we are saved by grace, not works, and you must respect your elders.

Now, given my youth and the youthful inclination toward rebellion, I was all about exploring the possibility that Jesus was a little more complex than the docile, sacrificial lamb that Sunday School portrayed him as (except when he cleared the money changers out of the temple - that had always made him seem uncharacteristically edgy). So I began to re-read the Gospels for the first time as though Jesus was also my teacher (I was in college at this point). This read much differently than it had when I read it ealier in life. Before this, I had known that Jesus was saying cool stuff, but all I really needed to remember was that Jesus loved and forgave me. But as Jesus also became me teacher, I began trying to live a little bit like he did in terms of my interpersonal relationships. I have no delusions of grandeur - I do not actually think I am perfect- just ask anyone close to me. But if Jesus is my teacher, shouldn't I TRY to treat others with love and understanding, despite our differences? And still, this did not seem to me to conflict with the idea that you cannot earn Grace or salvation. However, it did not mesh either, until I read this Dallas Willard line: "Grace is opposed to earning, not effort".

Just because we are saved by grace does not mean we should go through life as passive as a lump on a log. Even the demons believe that God is God and Jesus saves (and they tremble), but to do kingdom work requires some effort. Dallas also elaborates on how Grace plays a part in this. Grace is not merely used as a sin-balm; grace also sanctifies our actions. How do you "grow in grace"? Not by sinning more to exercise God's forgiveness (Rasputin style!), but by acting out of a desire to follow Jesus everyday and to do God's will (Discipleship is, after all, an action). Then, God's grace sanctifies our actions to serve his purpose. If God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose (and we know he does- it's in Romans somewhere) then surely that doesn't just apply to helping us work through the bad stuff in our lives. It also applies to helping our good efforts actually result in some good for the kingdom of God.

Grow in Grace!

Be disciples (and teach others to do likewise)!

Faith and Discipleship; Willard and Borg

In modern American Protestant Christianity it seems the most important factor in whether or not you are saved is if you have "faith". Faith in Jesus as your personal lord and savior, faith in God, faith that the bible is truth- the list could continue. What is meant by "faith" in this use of the word is often just a synonym for "belief". So, when a lot of Christians say they have faith, they are talking all about the things they believe. This is a big part of Willard's argument in the intro and 1st chapter of his book: that the big goal in a lot of churches today is just to initiate believers, not train disciples. And when you try to tell believers that God wants them to be disciples, they start to look at you suspiciously (what Willard describes as the "bait and switch"- see Corey's blogs below for a good synopsis of the intro and chapter 1 of "The Great Omission").

Part of this misunderstanding stems from the narrow meaning of the word faith accepted by many Christians (I can speak from experience, since that is the meaning of faith I started out with). Marcus Borg addresses this issue of the meaning of faith in his book "The Heart of Christianity" (p 27-37). He describes the four meanings of faith as understood by Christians throughout our 2000 year history. Just as love is understood to have many levels of meaning (I love my Ipod but I love my wife) the meaning of faith is best understood as a multi-layered word and an understanding of faith that includes this multifaceted meaning leads more naturally to a life of discipleship.

The meaning of faith commonly understood today is one of Assensus (Latin), or faith as belief. Borg describes this as "a propositional understanding," whereby to have faith in this sense is to "[give] one's mental assent to a proposition, as believing that a claim or statement is true." Borg points out that the importance of this meaning stems from two historical developments. First, the Protestant Reformation, during which time the splintering of the church led to differing beliefs between the denominations and the emphasis on believing the "right beliefs". And second, the birth of the Scientific Method's emphasis on observable facts during the Enlightenment, which has further led to the modern practice of Christians having to mentally assent to a set of beliefs in opposition to "scientific" facts (but I'll save the Truth/Fact blog for another time- maybe someone else can do it- hint,hint). There is nothing wrong with this understanding of faith, but it should not be taken as the sole meaning.

The second meaning Borg describes is that of fiducia: "a radical trust in God". Not "trusting in the truth of a set of statements about God," but rather by entrusting our worries in the care of God. Borg contrasts fiducia with anxiety: "we can measure our degree of faith as trust by the amount of anxiety in our lives." (he also mentions that he uses this example not to give us something else to chastise ourselves about, but because if we learn to live in this "radical trust" it can have a transformative effect that will allow us to spend our time, not worrying, but experiencing life as God meant us to [hint- think discipleship].

The third meaning of faith in God, fidelitas, means "a radical centering in God"; "faithfulness to our relationship in God"; and "loyalty, allegiance the commitment of the self at the deepest level, the commitment of the heart". Again Borg distinguishes that this does not mean "faithfulness to statements about God, whether biblical, credal, or doctrinal...." but "to the God to whom the bible and creeds and doctrines point.". And the opposite of this would be adultery or idolatry- when we center or lives on something other than God. Borg also draws a parallel between the "radical centering in God" of fidelitas with the two greatest commandments: "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your mind and with all your strength...[and] you shall love your neighbor as yourself.". If we follow these commandments we are living faithfully.
Similarly, Willard describes disciples as those who, "intent upon becoming Christ-like and so dwelling in his "faith and practice", systematically and progressively [rearranges their] affairs to that end.". So a true life of faithfulness, centering one's life in God, is of the same meaning as being a disciple, rearranging one's life to be more Christ like and to live in his way (loving God and your neighbor).

Finally, the fourth meaning of faith is Visio, or vision: how we see reality. Borg describes three common ways of viewing life. One way is to view life as "hostile and threatening," a view which leads to fear, defensiveness, paranoia, an emphasis on self preservation and a tendency to build walls around ourselves, rather than open up to the strangers, the poor, the widows, etc. Some Christians even view God in this way if they see him as a vindictive God who is out to punish and condemn to Hell.

A second way to view reality is as "indifferent.". This is the modern secular view that you live however you want to live, doing whatever makes you happy within the bounds of societal norms... And then you die. It seems to me that the conjunction of a belief that Christianity is just belief in a few main ideas and a vision in the secular American dream has done more harm to the church in this country than homosexuality, abortion and Muslims (three of the things that seem to worry many conservatives- not to say that I condone abortion).

The third way of seeing reality, and the way that best fosters a life of faith, faithfulness, and discipleship, is to see it as "life giving and nourishing.". God is good and gracious, and life is not simply a trial we must endure before we die and go to heaven, but God wants us to live a full, enriched life "in radical trust...[free from] the anxiety, self-preoccupation and the concern to protect the self...[with] the ability to love and to be present to the moment...[generating] a 'willingness to spend and be spent' for the sake of a vision that goes beyond ourselves." (see also "waking the dead" by Eldredge).

It seems then that training disciples involves teaching a fuller understanding of faith. In hearing the verse "we are saved by our faith alone", if our understanding of faith is limited only to assensus, the "cost of discipleship" may seem, as Willard noted, more than we signed up for, or rather like a super Christianity, a premium level that you have to pay more for when in fact, most people settle for the "free trial version". But if we as the Church teach that faith means more than simply believing in X,Y and Z and that faith is a life of trust and faithfulness in God and a vision in the Kingdom of God on earth, we will be doing more to train disciples, rather than simply initiating members to our churches.

Perfection

“Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect” Jesus

“Aim for perfection” – Paul the Apostle

“…he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you’” – Paul the Apostle

“For if you are able to bear the entire yoke of the Lord, you will be perfect; but if you are not able, then at least do what you can” The Didache [6:2]

“Perfection never was a requirement, although some might say we desired it.” Five Iron Frenzy

Growing up a Christian in a fairly conservative Protestant church I was given mixed signals. Some Christians, despite claiming a belief in Grace, seem to expect nothing less than perfection. Perhaps I felt this pressure more as a pastor’s kid, but I think that all kids in church feel like they are under the microscope from parents and elders. Grace, grace, grace is taught and preached, but the weight of high behavioral expectations grow with your age. Some church kids rebel from the start, enjoying every sin they can. Some hold out for some time, trying to live up to the expectations and feeling guilt for every time they slip up, and all the while trying to keep up appearances. In some groups this leads to a cult of perfection. What I witnessed was the complete depletion of my age group as we moved towards high school graduation. By the time I returned from college there were very few twenty-somethings in my former church at all – and I say former because I too have left.

To some, it seems, Christianity is nothing more than behavioral control, a list of impossible rules with the promise of pie in the sky. That is what I suspect drove off many former child church goers and prevents others from giving it a try. But I know there are many who have stayed interested in their faith, and still value it. I suppose I can only speak for myself, and this is true for me. But my beliefs have stayed important to me because I have come to understand the meaning of grace. When I was a child growing up in church, I heard the word “grace” a lot. But I did not truly understand grace, or at least not nearly as well as the expectation for perfection. Because when I saw people step out of line, the reaction from adults, parents and other kids was usually not modeling grace – it was typically punishment, disapproval or judgment.

Now, I am not perfect (just ask my wife, friends, family, and co-workers) and I do not claim to be perfect (though Molly would say I act like I think I am). But I spent most of my childhood and teen years, growing up a non-rebellious church kid, feeling guilty for not being perfect. And that was despite the fact that I knew in my mind that perfection was not the requirement; that any perfection is only by grace. But as I have said, it took me a while to understand the meaning of grace…

Reading the Didache, I wonder why I did not hear more lines such as the one I quoted above when I was growing up. And even as I wrote that rhetorical question I know the answer…. If you can follow the teachings of the Lord, you will be perfect. If not, do what you can. This is not a very “bright line” rule, not an easy rule to raise children by. Instead, it is much easier to tell your kids to be perfect. For I suppose if you tell your children to try to be perfect, but if they cannot, to do what they can, then they may “do what they can” into all sorts of undesirable situations: “well, I know I shouldn’t __________, but I did what I could!”

But, it is not easy to try to follow Christ’s teachings, and I am not convinced it is supposed to be a simple matter of behaving yourself. I have only stayed a Christian because I have come to understand the meaning of grace. Had I not come to understand it, and still only believed Christianity to be a list of impossible rules with the promise of pie in the sky, I perhaps would have abandoned the faith of my childhood by now. But as it turned out, I have stuck with it. And though I am not perfect (just ask my wife, family, friends and co-workers), I do what I can.

Quote:

O my Lord, if I worship you from fear of hell,
burn me in hell.
If I worship you from hope of Paradise,
bar me from its gates.
But if I worship you for yourself alone,
then do not withhold your eternal beauty from me.

– Rabi’ah al’Adawiya,
Muslim & Sufi mystic poet; she was born in Basra, Iraq
(717 - 801 CE)

Church Search

It's easy to find a church but more difficult to find a good church- no not good or bad but a spiritual home for me and where I am in my spiritual development and where I am on the path before me. It may be different for us, lets be open and know that I am at a different point that you, with different gifts than you and different struggles and hopes and dreams than you so what is good for you may not be home for me. Oh there are churches on every corner and block. There are the protesters and the Catholics and the non0denominationals of all types. No, you can't not find any church but to find a community, where you feel a part and not apart from those sitting in the pews keeping the cushions warm and staring straight, standing and singing all on cue but not from the heart, not from the gut, not from a place of spiritual vulnerability and hope and brokenness and joy and surrender. No, to find a church is not as simple as letting your fingers do the walking or surfing to a site or asking a friend. It takes a little walking and trying and trying again and direction and openness and guidance and patience. If you look for it, you will find that church that is not just a building or a social club but a community and a family and when you find it you will know before you even know and it will fit and it will be a home.